Hi everyone! I started posting and then haven’t in a while. My home county was hit with California’s biggest wildfire and things have been a little crazy. However, most people who still have homes standing, have made it home and I figure it is time I made a post! In this post I actually want to talk about someone else’s bit of writing that has recently become very important to me. A friend shared it with me a while back and since then it has stuck with me and became a very important part of my life. This is a quote by a phenomenal writer and human named, Jamie Twokowski. I will write the quote below and then my response to it will be below that.
“If you feel too much, there’s still a pace for you here. If you feel too much, don’t go. If this world is too painful, stop and rest. It’s okay to stop and rest. If you need to take a break, it’s okay to say you need a break.
This life – it’s not a contest, not a race, not a performance, not a thing that you win. It’s okay to slow down. You are here for more than grades, more than a job, more than a promotion, more than keeping up, more than getting by. This life is not about status or opinion or appearance. You don’t have to fake it. You don’t have to fake it. Other people feel this way too. If your heart is broken, it’s okay to say your heart is broken. If you feel stuck, it’s okay to say you feel stuck. If you can’t let go, it’s okay to say you can’t let go. You are not alone in these places. Other people feel the way you feel. You are more than just your pain. You are more than wounds, more than drugs, more than death and silence.
There is still some time to be surprised. There is still some time to ask for help. There is still time to start again. There is still some time for love to find you. It’s not too late. You are not alone. It’s okay – whatever you need and however long it takes – it’s okay. It’s okay. If you feel too much, there’s still a place for you here. If you feel too much, don’t go. There is still some time.”
I have been finding it very challenging to sum up everything I have to say about this piece of writing in a couple sentences. However, that doesn’t mean I am not going to try my darndest to explain the immense amount of emotions I have been feeling about this quote. I think the reason this post is so dear to my heart is due to the fact that it is so relevant for my personal journey and story. I have struggled with my mental health for years now and have recently been hospitalized for attempting to commit suicide. This is not something I am completely comfortable sharing and talking about yet, but, Jamie does a pretty darn good job of summing up the emotions and thoughts behind most of us who struggle with chronic depression, anxiety, or even suicidality. Going through this life has taught me so many valuable lessons but I think the most important is that life goes on even if you are not ready to go with it. Sometimes our lives move faster than we are ready for, and this bit of writing does a good job of illustrating the importance of saying when you need to slow your life down or take a break, regardless of how difficult it may be. I am so happy to share about how far I have come in life despite my mental health issues. I have overcome some pretty serious health challenges such as, a traumatic brain injury, Juvenile Arthritis, and the constant battle with my mental health. I am now on my way to study at UC Davis in the fall of 2018. Even though it is hard to see a way out of the storm when you are in it, I am so glad I decided to fight through and get to the other side. Honestly, it is thanks to the people in my life who have supported and loved me throughout my battles that I am able to sit here and write to you all today. In life it is so important not to forget about the people on you team. The people who love you unconditionally.
There’s not really a point to this post other than, I want you all to take to heart the importance of self care and nourishment. Taking care of yourself is never selfish and is so so vital to your physical and mental health. Keep drinking water and exercising your body and heart. This goes out to all of you struggling to keep your mind in check, stop overthinking, take a deep break and eat some veggies!
Love you all!