Hello, all you lovable people!
So, I am up at 1am and I cannot sleep! I thought I would write a blog post that will probably have multiple spelling/grammar errors and late night sad girl emotions. Anyhow, not sure about all of you but my year and specifically summer has been full of twists and turns, sickness, and heartbreak. Is it really a summer without a cliche break up though? I think not!
I do not really want to write about the annoyingly persistent feelings of my break up but I would like to write about how important putting yourself and your happiness first is in this life. I feel like when you’re in a relationship it is really easy to lose yourself with how in love you are with your partner. The consumption of codependency is real, however, not always bad in my opinion. Everyone has different relationship preferences, wants, and needs. There is not one universal standard (obviously). For example, I myself heavily fuck with monogamy and am very comfortable spending most or all of my time with my significant other. A main reason for this is because I believe that your significant other should be your friend first, and romantic partner second. However, this does not necessarily mean I am not my own person, or independent, it is just simply my preference. This is not everyone’s preference and others may see this as unhealthy, unfortunately, it is not up to other people what makes you feel comfortable, safe, and happy.
Where I am going with this is that no matter what, make sure you are able to love yourself and make yourself happy in your relationship as well as your partner. It is impossible to love someone else fully if you are not striving to love yourself. I am completely guilty of this. To be fair it is extremely difficult to love yourself and put yourself first especially when it pleases you to please someone else. Just remember it is okay to be alone…Bathe alone, run errands alone, go on solo grocery trips if that is what you do to self-soothe. Whatever it is you do to take care of yourself do it, because ultimately if you are trying to love yourself, and make yourself happy, you will make your partner happy too.
This brings me to my next point. If you really care for someone or even love them, it does not go away with an end of a relationship. If you would, close your eyes and imagine the person that you would answer the phone for at 2am, the one you would drive, fly, or boat to wherever they are in the world, just to give them a hug full of love. The one you love most on this earth. Whether this is your family member, best friend, or romantic partner, remember if it is a true love, they will be there to drive, fly, or boat, to you as well. You are not alone. There will always be another. Another: love, another heartbreak, another 1am cry in bed… But there will always be someone there for you to love, someone’s break for you to break, and someone for you to cry to at 1 am. However, There is not another you. Embrace every feeling you feel because it is the reminder you are alive.
You are not alone.
You are cared for.
You can be happy.
You can love.
You are able to be loved
You are able.
An old friend I used to know always told me, “At the end of the day you will always wake up to yourself.” I say… if that is true, do what you can to make yourself feel everything there is to feel in this fucked up world, and you will always wake up to love.
That was all for the gross sappy stuff. Thanks for reading my love letter to myself…. Stay cool my friends, I hope your weekend was lit af! … Wow, I hate that I said “lit af” but I honestly do not know how to end this.